Home owners association...I think there are two words we really need to focus on here: HOME OWNER! I own the home so I think I should have final say on most things pertaining to my home. I'm ok with a handful of rules that keep the neighborhood pleasant like, make sure you don't have chickens or goats in the front yard, keep the lawn up so you don't have any gigantic weeds saying "Feed Me Seymor", and don't blast your 2 Pac album at 3am (Yes Carlos still has his). So crazy me thought, maybe next weekend we'll buy Madison and the girls a play set for the backyard. Whoa...wait a minute. It isn't that easy! We first are expected to go through a ridiculous approval process with our home owners association allowing us to put it up in our FENCED backyard. The process is this: fill out an application, send them a survey of the yard, a bill of materials for the playset, the dimensions of the playset, and the location on the survey of the backyard where it will be located. To make it even easier on us "home owners", they only do approvals twice a month. Yeah, well no. We aren't doing it. Remember I am the rebel who ate lunch meat throughout my pregnancies, probably while I was getting my hair highlighted, so these actions shouldn't come as a shock. The playset won't be bothering anybody and if it doesn't fit their precious requirements, if and when they see it, they can take it down. But not before they remove the 3 crying kids from it, prying their little fingers off of the swings. In fact I hope they come to talk to me about it. I would love to have a conversation with the "Playset Police" who I picture looking like the agents on The Matrix. It's almost worth the $75 to buy the aluminum kind that "tips" and just put it right in my front yard to lure the agents to my house. I'm eager to hear all about the training they've received to be able to make such crucial decisions on if a playset is fit enough for my subdivision.
I'm glad the twins don't cry that much anymore so we can't be found out. I didn't get approval for them either.
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Why stop at swing set in the front yard? I'm thinking year-round Christmas lights... the super-bright LED kind. Buy yourself an old pickup and pull it halfway into your front-yard. (Halfway looks as if you parked it drunk, all the way signals a broken down vehicle.)Maybe pink flamingos out front, one of those old-school satellite dishes out back (the six foot diameter style)and a couple of "Vote Bob Dole in 96" campaign signs out by the road. (Half smashed by the pickup, of course)
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